Memories

It's hard to believe it's been almost four months since our trip. It seems like so recent... Yet, at the same time, so long ago.

All my memories of our trip are in vibrant colors. I can see the dark turquoise ocean, bright green hills, brown mountains, and crystal sky from Kaikoura, or the creamy clouds over the cool blue ocean of Cape Foulwind. Once I start thinking about it my mind flips through color pallets of all our different spots-- my memories are like the picture album we finally finished putting together. They are both brighter and more alive than the pictures (because of movement and other senses), but also almost dreamlike. I'm dreading the day they become covered with a veil of fog in my mind. Hopefully that will never happen.

Don't get me wrong, I love being home. I really enjoy living in Eugene; I love the weather, the culture, the activities, the people. But still, I am incredibly nostalgic. The feeling is not even completely nostalgia-- it has more mourning in it. I feel like I have lost something so dear, so amazing. I miss spending the time with just my parents, having that tiny world-- despite the small size of my acquaintance list, I felt so free. Like I had enough space to (excuse the cliche) spread my wings and be myself, to run wild and hug tightly. I felt so pure. So completely content in living in that particular moment, yet willing to move on.
Right this instant the feeling of the salty, humid air of Cylinder beach blowing over the ocean into my face is fresh in my mind.

I want to go back and live that over and over again. I just miss it so, so, so much. I never knew the cliche "heart-wrenching" could feel so strong and real.


Well, this is officially my final post (I really shouldn't say that. Maybe when I'm 102 years old I'll decide to write another post about how I still remember everything as clearly as if I were there. I really hope that happens).

Thanks for reading.
Goodnight, and goodbye.